MISSED MOMMY MOMENT

This post is for my friend Jean. She is in Madison Wisconsin celebrating her birthday with her twin sister. Last evening a bunch of kids were playing football during our New Years gathering when her son Josiah lost his first tooth- EVER. It was such a huge moment that I know Jean is sad to have missed it. Just so that you know, Jean, Josiah was a trooper! Nathan took him into the the bathroom to swish and spit the blood and then he proudly let me take this picture for you. Seconds later he was out the door and back in the game. You were missed :).

Holding Your Breath?

If any of you are holding your breath for the McKay Family Christmas card of 08' PLEASE STOP. I was hoping to get a New Years card out but it will be a little late too. I am going to save the postage and make it a Adoption Announcement/Christmas/New Years card all in one. The following picture is a teaser...it will have a picture similar to this.



Oh, and if you think it is possible that I don't have your home address PLEASE send it to me!

DONE!

It's 9:00pm on the 27th of December and we have ALL of our Christmas decorations (minus the lights on the house) put away. Does anyone have us beat?

Celebrating the Season

Christmas is not my favorite holiday to celebrate. The reason behind Christmas is another story. Bailey reminded me this evening about God's incredible gift of His son. She participated in the Christmas Eve service at our church tonight. A few hours after she played Mary she bluntly said, "Mom, can you believe that we got the best gift for Christmas already. I think baby Jesus tops EVERYTHING." So there you go. I love the "reason" but the hustle and bustle drives me CRAZY!

There are however a few things that I love about the month of December. Here they are in NO particular order-

CHRISTMAS BOOKS! We have a few baskets set around the house that we read from throughout the day. One year I even wrapped each book so that we had a 'gift' to open before we read the story.


CHRISTMAS CARDS. I love getting so much mail! We use our Christmas cards as the ornaments on our tree. They are my FAVORITE decoration.


RACHAEL'S CARAMELS. My friends Rachael SPOILS me every Christmas with a ton of her homemade caramels. They are my FAVORITE Christmas treat!


A PHONE CALL FROM SANTA! Santa has our phone number and takes a few minutes out of his busy schedule to chat with the kids. This year he called the day Mike left to pick up Tate. You'll get a kick out of hearing him talk to the kids. His calls will always be one of my favorite traditions. This is the last 2 minutes of his call.



SEEING SANTA! This one is TOO sweet. Some friends of ours host a party a few days before Christmas where Santa surprises the kids with a little visit (while his reindeer's nibble on the grass out front). After the party this year Mike and I talked about how neat it has been to watch each of our kids right around age 3. Without fail each of them has been totally captivated by the experience. I was so fortunate to get Buddy this year on video.


BIRTHDAY CAKE. Our dessert on Christmas Eve is always birthday cake for Jesus.


CANDLE LIGHTING. For as long as I can remember we have held a lighting ceremony on Christmas Eve. My dad made a manager that we fill with candles. The first one lit represents Jesus. We each read a scripture and then light our own candles off of the Jesus candle until the manger is full.


FAMILY. This year I am missing my sister on Christmas. The best times are always spent with those we love.

Under Investigation

ALL family members are under investigation. Daddy left his wedding ring on the bathroom counter yesterday morning and now it is missing. A unnamed 3 year old is the most likely suspect at this point but we have no proof...lots of foul play, but no hard evidence.

Thankfully the house detective is on duty. We will keep you updated if we get a break in the case.

Night-Nights

Each member of our family has a special blanket. We call them night-nights. And let me tell you they are LOVED. Mike's blanket is a happy face sleeping bag that he has had for nearly 30 years. No, he doesn't still sleep with it now but he is very sentimental about it. My blanket was made by my Grandmother when I was born. "Pooh" has traveled to places like Hawaii and Paris. It was also with me through surgeries, treatments, college and babies. After 27 years pooh found a new home with Bailey (I guess it was time). Bailey's night-night was made by Aunt Karen and now sadly resembles a rag. It is in three separate parts but she still sleeps with it every night. Brooklyn LOVES her pink store bought night-night. She lays it neatly over the top of her with her little toes hanging out the end. Buddy's train blanket was made by our friend, Christine. As I write this I am wondering if she know that it is his love. If Buddy is doing an art project it is usually for night-night. Emmett has two special blankets from Petunia Pickle Bottom. They are soft, white and fluffy and he needs both of them to go sleep.

I had asked Aunt Karen if she would make a night-night for Tate knowing that he didn't have one to sleep with yet. Then the thought occurred to me that we really needed to make his special. Mike and I discussed our plan and then talked it over with the kids. Most of the kids were on board or were at least willing to consider it.

Here is the before picture:


We each cut a small heart out of our night-nights to add to Tate's new one.

There were a few tears during surgery but a piece of Tate's night-night filled in our empty hearts.

Tate received his night-night on the car ride home from the airport and he has been snuggling it like a McKay ever since.

CLOTHES

Same little boy - different clothes. Happy to have him home!

Buddy's Accident

Yesterday while taking the kids on a walk, Buddy was struck by a bicyclist. Buddy was walking about 5 feet behind me when it happen. I turned around just as they made contact. The bicyclist was racing around the pedestrian walkway way too fast. When he went to pass Buddy he instead knocked him over and fell on top of him (his bike too). Unfortunately, Buddy's head took the brunt of the fall. The man had two choices he could have: A. responded quickly with numerous apologizes and concern for the 3 year old he hit or B. lashed out defensively using loud, foul language. He chose the later! As he got on his bike and rode off I was in a daze still wondering what exactly happened. The only words I could utter were, "Are you kidding me, my 3 year old hurt YOU...you should have had control of yourself." We continued on the walk with several people stopping us to see if Buddy was alright. They had witnessed the accident.

Nearly 15 minutes later the man came back to apologize for his actions and his words. He was extremely remorseful about the situation and how he had handled things. I think it was a good wake-up call for him. After sincerely forgiving him he walked off with his head hanging.

Our walk could have ended much differently. Instead of a large goose egg Buddy could have suffered major brain damage. Instead of hatred for a stranger I chose grace. God is good...all of the time. I am so thankful for his protection over Buddy's body and my heart.

Raising Twins

For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to have a set of twins. When Mike and I were married I thought I sealed the deal. Mike's parents are both twins and so is my father so it seemed like out chances were REALLY good. With every first ultrasound I always want to know, "Is it TWINS???". The tech usually thinks that we are crazy for wanting a set especially on babies 3 and 4...like don't we have enough or something? ;) My sister was blessed with twins, Zech and Rachel, so I figured she probably was passed the 'twin thing'. But still I have never given up hope. When it came to adopting Tate we knew that although he is more 2 1/2 years older than Emmett he would always be the baby of the family. Little did we knew how similar in age and size he and Emmett would actually be. I am enjoying my "twins" for as long as it lasts!

EVER WONDER?

Have you ever wondered what life would be like with or without this or that? Today at lunch I asked Mike what life would be like without Tate. It would literally be unimaginable. He just FITS!








Do you see what I mean?

DAY 1

The title might fool you. I am posting Day 1 but do not expect every day to be blogged about. I think I would lose my readers if I did that anyway.

We are really enjoying our time with Tate. I can't imagine ours lives without him. The kids love having a new 'baby' in the house. Although we will need to be careful I think Baby M could get a little jealous.

The guys arrived home on schedule. Tate was a wonderful traveler but he did not sleep for more than 45 minutes of the whole trip. They were all very exhausted yesterday and probably have jet-lag today. Tate took a nap as soon as we got home and probably would have slept through to the morning but we HAD to see him again. Aunt Karen BLESSED us with our very favorite dinner; her turkey pot pies and cookie bars. Tate LOVED every morsel. He does very well eating with a spoon.

I was extremely anxious about today. Mike was heading to work and I was not sure how Tate would do without him. Much to my surprise we have had a WONDERFUL day.
Tate slept until 8:30 this morning. His little body is adorable. He is VERY skinny about size 18-24 months. In the orphanage we were not allowed to see beyond his pink clothes so it was hard to determine just what size he was. I expect that he will start bulking up soon.

We are just about to load the bikes into the car to take him on his first ride around the Water Park (something I could only dream about for months). Thank you for all of your encouraging words and the love and support that we have received through this LONG process. We are excited to see what the Lord has planned for our future and thankful that he blessed our family with TATE.

Welcome Home

This is for those of you who just cannot wait another second...






I will post more this evening.

4 Hours and Counting

SURREAL

BED- Part 2

Ok, I guess I have made you wait long enough. Here are two pictures of Buddy room. Papa made his bed into a VW Bus. Tate's bed will connect to the back of the bus...any ideas?





This is the girls room. My Father is the most CREATIVE person I know.

Angel Breakfast

Our church puts on a special Christmas party for the kids each year. Pancakes, crafts and puppets; what could be better when you are 4 years old? On the way home Bailey said, "Mom, Tate is going to LOVE the Angel Breakfast next year!"

Snowing!!!

I just took this picture from the window in the apartment. It's been snowing since early this morning and it is truly beautiful (to look at anyway). I just got back from a two hour walk in this stuff and it was exhilarating to say the least. I feel like I'm on another planet! It's 2:18 and Mike is having lunch with the guys while I keep the computer occupied. He hasn't received the passport as of yet, but we hope it will arrive sometime this afternoon. He paid for the Visa and completed most of the paperwork in advance and all he will need to do is show up at the Embassy prior to 5:00 p.m. today with the passport.

This is our last day with George. We will miss him. Tomorrow we have another interpreter while George appears in court on another matter. If all goes as planned today, we will head out first thing tomorrow and by 9:30 we should be saying bye at the orphanage and beginning a new journey with Tate! I'm getting excited as this is now rapidly unfolding.

Papa's Thoughts

Alison,

I just wanted to take a moment to share with your readers some thoughts on
my experience in the Ukraine. I’m honored that you and Mike asked me to
help bring Tate home and have been enjoying my time from the moment Mike and
I arrived. I spend as much time taking in the unbelievable sights of this
magnificent city. The people are gracious beyond expectation and I can only
hope that we Americans would do as well with foreign visitors to our
country.

I’m hustling each day to see as much and do as much as possible, given that
most of the time we are careening through the city and into the country side
by our driver, Andre. There are still numerous papers and signatures for
the adoption to get signed and an unbelievable paper trail to follow. I
pray each day that I’ll live long enough to just get back to the apartment
in one piece! Mr. Todd’s wild ride doesn’t come close to describing the
adventure!!


I didn’t know what to expect on my first visit to the Orphanage, but can
report that I’m impressed beyond belief with the loving care and attention
that the special needs children are receiving. The caregivers seem to truly
love and respect the children. The children are well taken care of and I
know that there will be many tears the moment Tate leaves the love of this
place. Mine will be among them.




I’m looking forward to Saturday’s welcome home event and celebrating with
all of you who have been following along on this adventure. Thank you,
Alison, for taking the time, energy and love in preparing and maintaining
this Blog. It has been a wonderful journey!

Love you,

DAD

Counting

Counting down the days until Christmas. We can hardly wait!






Speaking of countdowns...my boys will be home in 3 DAYS!!!!

Tate's Celebrity Status

During the first trip our friend George asked if we would consider allowing a reporter to do a story on our Adoption. George works with different organizations that help children in orphanages in Ukraine. It is his hope that families in Ukraine will get a better understand of children with special needs.
The story being done is going to both be in print as well as a short film documentary. A crew followed Mike and Tate around a little bit. I wish they had him in something other than the pink boots! :)
































I thought I would include the questions from the journalist. Some of you may find it interesting.

Questions for Alison from journalist Larissa~

Эллисон, здравстуйте! Очень жаль, что я с вами не познакомилась, когда вы были на Украине.
Hallo,Allison! It's a pity,that I didn't meet you during your stay at Ukraine.
Хочу сказать, что я поражена и восхищена вашим поступком.
I want to tell,that I'm impressed so much by your step.
Правда,для нас,украинцев,усыновлять детей с синдромом Дауна настолько нетипично,
For us,Ukrainians,to adopt Down syndrom child is so non typical
что я до сих пор не могу понять мотивы вашего поступка.
that I can't understand motivation of your step till now.
Что это? Жалость? Жажда трудностей и острых ощущений?
What is it? is it a pity? Or do you need hard work and sharp impressions?
Желание вырастить собственных детей еще более сердобольными и чуткими людьми?
Is it wish to arise your own children more warm heart and sensitive?
Объясните мне, пожалуйста.
Can you explaine me,please?

Hello Larissa -

Thank you for your email....nice to meet you. I appreciate your kind words and your interest in this story. Please know that we see Tate as a blessing to our family....we believe that God made him perfect in every way. He will require special needs and attentions, but we are ready to accept him just as he is and love him unconditionally. Our children will grow up knowing true joy in the face of their brother, will understand how precious people with special needs are, and what a blessing God has given to our family.

Говорят,болезни и трудности,которые вы перенесли ранее,сделало вашу душу очень...
They say,that suffering from illness and troubles,that you had before,made your soul so
...впечатлительной и ранимой,что и повлияло на ваше решение взять Женечку.Так ли это?
sensitive,what influanced on your decision to take Zhenya. Is it so?
Не могли бы вы немного рассказать о ваших болезнях и как вы с ними боролись,
Could you share your experiance in the struggling against hard disease...
чтобы показать читателям ваше мужество в преодолении жизненных препятствий?
...for showing readers your courage in getting over the life difficulties.

I am not sure that my childhood illness played a direct role in this adoption. It obviously played a significant role in shaping the person that I am and my outlook on life. God has blessed me with good health and a wonderful family. Mike and I have always discussed the possibility of adopting a child with special needs. With the help of Reese's Rainbow and their great work as an advocate for children around the world with Down syndrome....this dream is now a reality.

Расскажите, что вы подумали, когда впервые увидели Женечку в доме ребенка?
Tell,please,what you thought,looking at the Zhenya for the first sight in the orphanage.
Расскажите немножко о своих детях,о каждом из них.Какие они по характеру,чем увлекаются.
Share the info about your own children,every of them,their prefferable interests.
Читателям будет интересно узнать, какие у Жени братья и сестры.
It will be interesting for readers,what sisters and brothers will have Zhenya.
Как готовятся к встрече нового братика ваши дети? Готовят ли они ему какие-то подарки?
How are prepairing children for the meeting with new brother? What presents they are prepair?
Собираются ли как-то поздравить с Рождеством?
Will it be special congratulation with the Xmass?

Our first meeting with Tate was very emotional and intense....we loved him and were so thankful to finally be able to hug him and meet him in person. It was great to see him in such a loving environment. Mike and I are so thankful to the wonderful caretakers that have shown Tate so much love. Tate's brothers and sisters are very excited to meet him!!! Our two daughters (Bailey,age 7 and Brooklyn,age 5) have been watching all the videos and pictures that we have taken and are very anxious for him to arrive. Our two sons (Buddy, age 3 and Emmett, age 1) are not quite old enough to understand, but they will love having another boy in the house. Yes, we are busy for his arrival next week....putting his room together, getting his bed ready (my dad built him a special bed that he will love!), and my aunt is currently making a very special blanket just for him. Christmas will be unforgettable this year...we will have the whole family together!

Будете ли вы со временем разыскивать родителей мальчика?
Will you search for Zhenya's bio relatives later?
Нет ли у вас страха,что вы не справитесь с воспитанием Жени и ноша окажется слишком тяжелой?
Aren't you scaring,that can fail with arising Zhenya and it will be too hard???
Есть ли у вас знакомые, которые уже воспитывают ребенка с синдромом Дауна?
Have you friends,who are arising Down syndrom child?

А, может, в Америке есть какие-то известные личности, которые смело рассказывают о своих детях,
больных синдромом Дауна, и это воодушевляет тех мам, у которых в семьях подрастает ребенок с
синдромом Дауна?
Are there at US famous personalities,who are telling about their own Down syndrome
children and it inspire moms,who has such children at their families?

First, let me say that Mike and I have said all along that the true hero in this story is Tate's birth-mother that chose life. This decision has given us such an incredible blessing, and we will always be grateful to her and for that decision. Given that, we do not have any plans to contact the family. No, we are not afraid of failing with Tate as we are not afraid of not being able to raise any of our other children. We take comfort in knowing that God will always provide. Yes, I do have friends with children with Down syndrome, and they have been such an encouragement to me! They will continue to provide wonderful insight and support to our family during this journey.

Буду очень признательна получить от вас ответ. С уважением. Лариса.
Will be thankful for the answers. With respect. Larissa

Thank you Larissa,
Alison.

Breakfast...

...or rather BREAKFAST in BED!
The kids and our special friend Sarah surprised me with a wonderful treat. They made pancakes with mango slices. I felt like ROYALTY!

Here is what Tate had for breakfast- beet soup with potatoes and fish mashed together, YUMMY!

A note from Daddy

Here are some notes that I took today during our drive to Kiev with Tate and his caretaker...

7am - wakes up - check his bed to see if it is wet - take him potty (note: she said that it would probably be good to do a pull-up but that they just cant afford them).

* potty (when he goes potty they always encourage him by saying "dyakao-yoo" - "thank you" in Ukrainian. He sits on the potty (didn't see it but she explained it to me)
* brushing teeth (she mentioned that he taught himself how to do his teeth and is very independent wanting to do it by himself (probably explains his teeth)). She did comment on how good his small motor skills are much better than the other kids...he can sit putting small beans from one bowl to another for quite some time.
* play time with toys and other children

8am - breakfast - typically about 15 min. and is usually something like oatmeal with butter, bread, tea w/ milk

(15 min. after eating....potty time)
washing his hands / face / etc.

9am - Lesson 1 - is one-on-one time with caretaker where they do things like games / story-telling (showing how the bunny hops / bear walks / etc) / stacking / playing with models that help him put shapes in the right spots / etc.

10am - Free Play & Glass of Juice (typically they have them outdoors - always talking about the birds singing, interacting with them...

Noon - Lunch (she mentioned that he is able to eat by himself (usually with a bib) and drinks out of a standard cup). Did speak with her about choking issues and she mentioned that he is good to eat most anything, but they do mash up most everything (she explained that we could gauge his chewing capabilities...they just have too many kids to chance having anyone have choking issues so they basically mash most everything up). She definitely said that something like an apple would not be good, but that we will just need to experiment with it a bit. This is something that we will just have to work on...
(lunch is usually borsh / soup...steamed chicken or meat...cabbage/rice/mashed potato/etc...

(15 min. after eating...potty time)
washing his hands / face / etc.

12:30pm - Nap Until 3:30

(Potty)

3:30pm - Snack (cracker / milk / pastry / etc)

4pm - 2nd Lesson (I think that they do lots of focused things that he enjoys...singing, tactile activities, physical development (i.e. crawling through tubes, dancing)

5pm - 7pm - Free Play Outside

7pm - Prepare for dinner (wash hands / face / put bib on)

7:15pm - Dinner (they do monitor his intake as he will eat and eat)...same types of foods mentioned above and about 100-200 grams of drink (4-7 ounces)

(Potty)

8pm - Ready / Go to Bed

She mentioned that he would be fine with either a bath or shower. She also commented that he doesn't currently have a blanket that he needs to sleep with.

I have to tell you that I am SO EXCITED to get him home. I think that is why I am so frustrated with the final details...just want to take him now and get home. He is SO SUPER SWEET...such a love. The kids are going to love him so much...he loves repetition, is very disciplined, and needs structure & encouragement. He was singing and saying "mama" for about 10 min. today on the ride home...you would have loved to see it!! We tried to get him to say "papa" but he just kept saying mama...the caretaker was explaining to him where you were. Seeing him with his caretaker was incredible...she truly loves him and is so good with him. It is going to be hard to take him out of that environment, but I know that same love is waiting for him at home :-).

BED- Part 1

In case you were wondering where Tate is living I thought I would do a post (in 3 parts) about his current bed and his future one. Here is a picture of the place that he sleeps now. This is the only bed he has know for the past 4 years; those are his little yellow pants hanging over the end.


This video shows more detail. The guy at the end, with the scary laugh, is George.


Tate is going to share a room with Buddy. In a few months Baby M will join them as well. My dad, carpenter and creative head, is finishing up Tate's bed. It just might be the cutest bed I have ever seen; aside from Buddy's bed. I will do a post in a few days of Buddy's room before Tate's bed arrives. CURIOUS?

First Car Ride

Ever wonder what it would be like as a four year old to drive in a car for the very first time??? Here is what Tate thought-




Mike said Tate was very quiet just taking in his new surroundings. They were on their way to get his passport picture taken. On the drive back to the orphanage he was making a sound to imitate the car's motor. TOO CUTE!

Inspired

My original plan for the second trip was all figured out in my mind while we were still in Ukraine. Since Mike was going to be the one returning I thought I would keep things simple for him. I packed a large carseat bag filled with most of the stuff that Mike would need and left it with our driver, Andrae, while we returned. In the bag was a umbrella, toys, diapers, snacks, videos, kids cups, 2 blankets, a pillow and Mike's toiletries. I figured all he would need to return with were clothes for he and Tate. He shouldn't need more than one small carry on.

A change of plan happened suddenly when I was inspired by my friend, Karen. Karen adopted two sweet little girls from Ukraine a few months ago. Her husband shared on her blog that Karen took an extra suitcase filled with 100 cozy pj's for the children in her daughters' orphanage. I was so inspired I figured Mike didn't need to travel so light on the way out to Ukraine and thus prepared to scratch my plan.

On Saturday while I should have been packing Mike one little bag we went on a shopping spree instead.
The kids were thrilled to play Santa for Tate's little friends. We bought baby wipes, cozy pj's, warm winter jackets, sweats, jeans and under shirts. The best part of shopping was watching Mike get so excited about getting stuff for the kids. He specifically picked out jackets for Vlad, Ivanna, Irene and Willhem. I bet he was even more excited as he dropped off the duffel bag this morning. Speaking of which, he made it safely. Today was spent on an exhausting paper trail that lasted from 9am until 6:30pm. The highlight of his day came at 4:40 when he was reunited with Tate. He says he looks wonderful and can't wait to bring him home... FINALLY!

...just a few more hours!

Guess who Mike gets to see soon...I am SO jealous!