Hopping on my Soapbox

Excuse me a few minutes as I hop on my soapbox to work through an issue that I am having. 'Issue' might be too strong of a word but something is bothering me a bit. Mike and I discussed early on in our adoption process that we would not carry the burden of comments that might be made to us regarding our decision to adopt (or to adopt a child with Special Needs). Generally harsh comments come from a rather ignorant point of view. If people had their facts straight from the get-go most of them could be avoided.

While having a conversation with my friend, Cari, today a comment was made from a woman that I do not know. She had little to no background information on me or the adoption so my issue is not with her but rather with her words. When I told her of our plans to adopt a child with special needs she flippantly replied "WOW, you are taking a BIG RISK". My internal emotions got the best of me but I remembered a promise that I had made to my husband and I quickly dissolved the conversation without fueling the fire. I had a hard time thinking straight for the
next few hours. The word RISK continued to play over and over in my mind. Had I been extra prepared today I would have handed her a copy of a recent post that I read. The following was written by a family who adopted a child from Ukraine earlier this year. Their story has been inspirational to many and would have been the perfect response to her cutting words.

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When Charissa came to me and asked me, "Can we adopt a little girl with Down syndrome?". I didn't say anything. I just thought.

Then she said, "... there is a little girl in Ukraine that needs a family." I didn't say anything except.. mmmm.

I began to go over and over in my mind how MY life would change. How would this affect ME. What if this happened what if that happened. How would this little girl integrate into our family?

So, here is a list of questions I asked, prayed over and meditated on for several days:

- This is a huge commitment
- Will she talk, eat, walk
- What will Word of Faith folks think of me having a child with a disability
- How will my life change with this little girl
- Will my kids accept her
- Will my kids rebel
- Will my kids be safe while I am half way across the world
- Can I afford this
- and many other thoughts

Then I had this thought.. What is this little girl thinking:

- When is my daddy going to come kiss my neck and throw me in the air?
- When is my daddy going to come help me get my eyes fixed?
- When is my daddy going to help me learn how to eat, walk, talk?
- When is my daddy going to take me out of this crib and put me on his shoulders?
- When is my daddy going to hold me close at night before he puts me to bed?
- When is my daddy going to tell me he loves me?
- When is my daddy coming to get me? Why's he taking so long? I'm ready!

God defends the orphan! He will defend me and my family..

What a blessing little Ava has been in my life! I just cannot imagine life without that little girl. Jesus will increase your ability to love every child you bring into your home. He'll work miracles in your heart and in the hearts of a whole lot of other folks too.

Don't be afraid to LOVE! Love heals.

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I hope after reading this she would have come to the same conclusion that we knew in our hearts the moment we decided to adopt Tate. RISK? The only risk we are taking would be to not follow through with our calling. We would RISK missing out on the blessing that God has in store for us as we love one of His beloved sons.

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
Alfred Lord Tennyson

And with that I will step down. GOOD NIGHT.